The Advantage Of Emotion-Focused Therapy In Marital Issues




In a relationship, all you need is someone who understands you and accepts you for who you are. You need the kind of commitment where you can become yourself without any judgment and criticism. You embark yourself on the idea of gaining a better development that helps in reshaping your personality, your life, and your future. You need a stable attachment and a secure relationship to regulate yourself so you can establish well-deserved emotional health.

The possibility of knowing yourself begins in recognizing your bad and good emotions. “You definitely can hang on to your unique self, trusting you do know yourself enough, while still leaving space for another person to be their own true selves.” Psychotherapist Sona DeLurgio, PsyD, LMFT explains. With that, there’s a need for identifying your marital attachment to be able to follow or break a cycle that frames and locks your feelings. Fortunately, you experience different types of problems not because of the kinds of feelings you have but preferably with the perception you put into each of your life occurrences. You undergo the process of self-expression where you tend to respond to the impact of the different levels of situations.




Emotion-Focused Therapy

Emotion-focused therapy is common in a couple and family therapy world because it’s not the process of deliberately altering your thoughts or behavior but instead creating a direct contact with your inner experience. It connects with your unique intelligence and targets the rooted perception, thought, and behavior that links to your emotion. It helps in removing competitive patterns of negative feelings and changes it into fresh and invigorating ones. It is the process where you tend to move into a variety of task that is designed to foster psychological and emotional growth. It serves as a tool in assisting your life decisions and current choices. Robin D. Stone, LMHC often says, “The benefits of therapy are vast, including having an objective perspective on happenings in your life, a sounding board for you to talk through options before taking action, a place where you can deepen self-awareness, access resources to support your growth and personal development, and much more.”





The Process Of Intervention

When it comes to damaged emotion, there’s a great significance of experiencing the pain and suffering for you to heal it.  The treatment requires your full attention where it can sometimes make you feel scared, nervous, strange, but excited at the same time. The whole process is both comforting and informative because you can be at the exact moment of having emotional difficulty. You somehow create a connection with your inner thoughts and current emotions. It provides a useful and straightforward way to reduce anger, anxiety, and depression.

The engaging creative process of emotion-focused therapy can work with your desire to achieve the phase of where you want to be. Sometimes, it might require self-criticism for you to be able to accept yourself as a whole. In some instances, you need to be able to determine your weak points and let it stay in your core so you can use it as a guide for your overall development. You need to reinstate hope for yourself and base your judgment using both emotional and mental aspects.

EFT supports a healthy relationship as well as a functioning emotional and mental state. Any emotional and psychological approach is prone to exploration that will eventually become something that will serve us for the better. As Hannah Goodman, LMHC elaborates, “Therapy and couples counseling can drastically improve your relationship issues” Our reactions and responses to the different types of situations in our marriage, in particular, can impact the kind of relationship we want so we need to know how to use it properly.

Finding “A Counseling Near Me”



Are you struggling inside but not sure what to do? Are you searching for help but hesitant about where you should go? Mental health is most of the time ignored. People are too confident with their psychological capacity that they do not give importance to signs which are indicative of problems. Do not be like most people. Take the first step toward a healthy mind.

As you type in “counseling near me,” what are you actually looking for? Do you have someone or something in mind? What are your expectations? If it is your first time to seek professional help, you might be clueless about what to look for? All you have in mind is to get help with the current struggle you are experiencing. Stacy Donn Cristo, LMHC once said, “Many people turn to therapy because they feel as though they are not functioning. Most people come feeling depressed or anxious and fear that they are defective.” That explains it.

What You Should Be Looking For When You Are Searching For “Counseling” Or “A Counselor Near Me”:

  1. Search for someone who offers the help you need. According to The New York Times, when your concern is you are troubled with illnesses such as depression, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, the professional you should be looking for is a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist.
  2. Look for qualifications and credentials. It gives you ease to know that you will be assisted by someone who has extensive experience or knowledge about your case. Look for past experiences and specialties. Take time to read the counselor’s biography and philosophy. Find out if he or she is the person you need. But remember, “Experience and credentials are important, but it’s usually the personality of a therapist and the therapeutic rapport that develops between teen and therapist that is the most important factor of all.” That is according to Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW.
  1. Find a counselor who would not cost you a fortune. Of course, your health is priceless, but that does not mean you have to be financially problematic to get help. Search for a counselor who has a qualification and credibility but at the same time affordable.
  2. Look for online reviews about the counselor and search for previous cases he or she had handled and read through any comments about his or her services. You will definitely know much information from the internet that will help you decide whether you will opt to seek his or her services.
  3. Once you think you have chosen a counselor to help you out, you can visit his or clinic to meet in person. Make an appointment if you may. It will give you an experience of how your counseling sessions will be. Although the first impression is not always the last, your gut can tell you whether you are comfortable with someone or not.

We should all give importance to our mental health that’s why we should seek help once we notice there is something different in our behavior that is affecting how we function every day and how we get along with the people around us.

The internet could provide you with the help you need regarding finding the right counselor. All you have to do is type in “counseling near me,” and the list of counselors nearby will be available for you to browse through.

Always be thorough in choosing the right counseling for you because your mental wellness depends on the help you get. “A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it.” Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC said. As much as possible, be very keen and do not rush onto every counselor you see. Take your time and ascertain your mental wellness.


Solution-Focused Therapy: Dealing With Stressful Financial Matters



One of the primary sources of stress is money. Who doesn’t worry about money? Even 1% of the population which comprises the wealthy still worry about money, differently though. They worry about where to put and how to spend it. But seriously, if money is your problem, then the solution to it is figurable as money is concrete and countable.

You don’t need to be an accountant to figure out how you’re going to solve your financial problems. Sometimes, the answer is already at the back of our head, but you refuse to acknowledge it because it’s too simple or too insignificant to make a difference. However, sometimes, the solution to our problems involves small things like how you need 100 cents to make a dollar.

Ben Martin, Psy.D. once said, “A stressful change in life patterns can trigger a depressive episode. Such stressful events may include a serious loss, a difficult relationship, trauma, or financial problems.” If your main stressor is your finances, there are simple ways where you can gain freedom financially. No, you don’t have to rob a bank. You just have to manage what you already have and organize your thoughts the right way, solution-focused inspired.

Here Are Some Simple Ways You Can Do To Break Free From Money Problems:

Don’t Spend Too Much


Only spend on your necessities, and don’t go to the mall during payday. There’s a big chance you’re going to spend money buying stuff you don’t need. Some may just be a gift for yourself for working so hard or something that may catch your attention like expensive shoes on the shelf.

List Your Payables Beforehand

“Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.” Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach says. Therefore, by listing all the things you need to pay, you can track whether you have an extra for anything else. It will prevent you from acquiring debts that could be avoided if you just focused.

Avoid Dining Out

Remember that when you are dining out, it makes you pay for the place and services too, which are pricey, so when you know you are tight on a budget, it is better to eat at home and develop your cooking skills.

Don’t Go To The Mall During Sale

When you see a red tag saying it’s 25% off making you save $25 when its original price is $100, don’t buy it because you will end up not saving anything but spending $75. You don’t need the item in the first place.

If you think that you struggle in controlling your impulse, online counseling such as BetterHelp may benefit you. In case you want to learn more about how it will help you, there are reading sources for you.

Don’t Rely On One Income Alone


When you are an employee and earning the minimum wage, there’s a big chance that you will have a hard time having a comfortable life, let alone saving. You don’t want to spend three more decades sitting in front of a computer filling out sheets. Learn about other ways that can help you earn some more. It doesn’t have to be big, but in the long run, you will realize that it is useful. “When it comes to your money, you always have the power to make a difference, so recognize that choices exist for you to improve any financial problem.” Bahareh Talei, Psy.D. said.

Solution-focused therapy aims to find a solution to your problem, and for the examples above, they are pointers on how to solve your issues in managing your finances. When you think about them, they are quite simple and obvious, but that’s entirely the point. Why do most people choose the hard way if they have easy options to take?





Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – Solution For Stress And Anxiety In A Toxic Marriage



There will always be a time that you probably won’t understand the flow of your marriage. “Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner,” says Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC. The pressuring stress will eventually give you tons of mental illness that you sometimes won’t even notice. In some instances, you become more focus on deliberately knowing your health condition rather than figuring out ways to stay positive all the time. You consume yourself with worries, fears, loneliness, and agitation. So how can you help yourself in that situation? Well, cognitive behavioral therapy is a great option.


What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT is a type of psychotherapy that takes a practical and hands-on approach to problem-solving. “Cognitive behavioral therapy, often shortened to CBT, focuses on recognizing negative thought patterns and changing thoughts and behaviors and feelings through concrete skills.” explains Hannah Goodman, LMHC. It treats problems and mental condition by altering dysfunctional emotions and behavior. Though the process takes a short-term approach, it is the only type of therapy that you can perhaps monitor the level of possible improvements. CBT is a direct method of knowing what you think about your problems and encourages you to provide specific solutions on how to address those particular issues. It does not focus on the information you gather from your traumatic life experiences but instead directly assisting your thoughts towards that specific event.




How CBT Works

The primary procedure that CBT uses a lot is the process of “thought tracking.” It is where you tend to list all the automatic thoughts you have and evaluate an event as to where it leads your mental and emotional state. Like for example, your spouse or significant other tends to abuse you, and that traumatic experience is something that drives you to a certain level of depression. CBT will not focus on that specific event but rather lean towards how you use your thoughts in that situation. You may think that you’re unworthy, you deserve the abuse, you’re hopeless or whatever reasons it might be that feeds into your mind that validates the domestic violence.

For many of us, we tend to develop unnoticed thoughts whenever we experience a toxic and devastating type of marital relationship because there are underlying assumptions that support our automatic views. For example, when we feel that we are not worthy of anything, it means something more than that. CBT tries to go deeper into that assumption as to why we devalue ourselves. In further progression, the therapy makes us think about the specific things we thought about ourselves and why we tend to set those ideas into our minds.

CBT becomes so dominant in addressing our mental illness because it catches those thoughts that we are not aware of having. It gives us the purpose of knowing the meaning of our ideas about ourselves and addresses it down until we can get to that core belief, which could be anything from extreme emotional neglect.

“CBT is a relatively brief, skills-focused treatment that has been shown to be effective for a wide variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, anger, social skills deficits, and relational problems.” –Shelby Harris, PsyD, CBSM





Once we can recognize all those automatic thoughts we have and figure out what causes them, we can get to that point of addressing the issue whatever it may be. From there, CBT can assist us in learning ways on how we can tell ourselves to stop thinking about those unwanted thoughts.

Online counseling platforms like, for example, BetterHelp provides Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Rest assured that licensed and professional therapists can help you with your situation.

Music Therapy For Anxiety And Depression

“Let the music heal your soul.” – This statement expresses what music can do. It can heal our soul, and the soul is a profound word to describe what’s inside us. It consists of our thoughts, emotions, aspirations, personalities, and all the things that make us who we are. Anything that disturbs the peace in our soul affects how we function in our everyday lives, so making sure that we are healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is essential in our happiness and longevity.



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Thou Shall Not Steal: Kleptomania And Psychiatry

Any form of stealing is a crime, may it be from an urgent need, life or death situation, or even for the benefit of the poor (like Robinhood robbing the rich and giving to the poor). What if a person is stealing out of an impulse or anxiety? What if a person has kleptomania? Would the law of man acquit him? What does psychiatry have to say about it?



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5 Mental Health Disorders And How They Can Benefit From Online Therapy

People often ignore mental health disorders that are not physically harmful, but they should know that immediate intervention is vital to treating several conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety/panic disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.




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What Happens In Sex Addiction Counseling?





My wife was promiscuous. There I said it. Are we still together, you ask? Yes, we are, and I know, it’s a miracle. Even though it hurts to the bone that the woman I love, the mother of my children, and my partner in life is like this, I cannot hold the compulsive behavior against her. She is a nymphomaniac, and that was brought about by her difficult childhood, and so I have to understand.

“Most frequently, these addictive sexual behaviors are categorized on three levels according to the degree of risk and the legal consequences involved. Level one behaviors may include: masturbation, prostitution and anonymous sex.” – Stanley H. Ducharme, PhD, a clinical psychologist

Why My Wife Became A Sex Addict

Eve was raped over and over again by her brother, cousin, and uncle. At age 10, she had her first sexual encounter, and for a while, she thought that doing it with the men inside her home was normal. Their family was incestuous and how can I hold it against her? When I met Eve, the three men who abused her were already behind bars, and I never imagined that she would become a sex addict. Our encounters were mind-blowing, yes, but I thought it was because she was in love with me.


It’s a blessing that Eve realized for a brief moment a while back that having sex with different men and getting around was her mental illness. Her behavior was not normal, she realized. She was hurting me, our children, our marriage, and most especially herself. While she blamed her damaged mind for everything that she did, I told my wife that her realization was the first step in wanting to get better. We sought a CSAT or a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and the professional created a program for my beloved wife.




Counseling Vs. Treatment

“Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses.” Michael Herkov, Ph.D said. SoI thought that what she needed was sex addiction counseling. Well, I was partially correct. The therapist created a sex addict recovery platform for my wife, and it involved counseling and therapy sessions. It is a treatment program because the behavior needs curbing first before the thought process is adjusted. In counseling, the thought process is fixed first so that the response will improve. In this type of issue, the former is more efficient.


Components Of A Sex Addict Treatment And Therapy Program

There are at least three components that CSAT’s practice on their clients when in a treatment program. They are held in a rehabilitation facility, private clinic, or a counselor’s office for one-on-one therapy. The program primarily remains the same.


  1. Acceptance
  2. Action
  3. Accountability


One must ACCEPT that the addiction is out of the addict’s hands. No amount of willpower will make the habit go away on its own and naturally. The disorder is bound to harm not only the people around the addict but also the person herself. That’s what the counselor told my wife and me, and this is what we need to accept.

“It is no more about sex than an eating disorder is about food or pathological gambling is about money.” –Rory Reid, PhD, LCSW

As for ACTION, my wife had to abstain from addictive sexual conduct and practice sexual sobriety. How can she do this when willpower for a sex addict is almost impossible to control? Well, there are tools that CSAT’s will use and impose on their clients to efficiently regulate the behavior. My wife needs to follow the direction of the program to the tee if she wants to get better.


ACCOUNTABILITY means doing everything in your power to abstain from sex (if it is required). It is also learning more about the disorder, constant communication with the therapist or counselor, going to sex addict meetings (12-step program), and a sequence of related tasks to make the addict understand why he or she is like that.




The Road To Recovery

The CSAT told us that it wouldn’t be a short process. But on a lighter note, some sex addicts recover after a few years in the treatment program. It is different from one person to another, and at the very least, sex addicts will make progress after three years. For some, it is longer. I don’t care. If I need to wait ten years, then, I will wait. My point is for my Eve to get better, and with that, I will be patient.

LGBTQ Counseling: I’m A Gay Man With A Wife




Yes, I’m a coward and a fool. I cheated on my wife of ten years many times that I lost count. We have one child together whom I love so much, but that’s just about it. I love our child, but I’m not in love with my wife. Ever since the very beginning, I have never fallen in love with her. We got married because it was a business arrangement sealed by our parents. Soon after our wedding, she had to get pregnant and there, we had our son. After that, our marriage went downhill.



In A Dilemma

“Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like” That is according to Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC. I know my sob story won’t convince you that I am a good person. Cheaters are not decent people, right? If I didn’t really love her, I shouldn’t have married her, right? Well, in our family and traditions, love is not a priority.  It’s about business and connections. My parents had an arranged marriage and lucky for them, they fell in love. But for us, no. I’ve been with this woman for ten years now and still, no sparks.


Do I care for her? Yes, I do. I care for her like a brother to a sister and a friend to a friend. She is the mother of my only child, for heaven’s sake. But I have become an infidel. I’m stuck in this marriage, and I am supposed to be committed to a woman with no romantic feelings from my end. I don’t even get turned on when I see her. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because I’m flawed, weak and a fool. “Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of marital infidelity, something is wrong in the marriage. Either the husband or the wife is unhappy and likely both.” Katrina Bilhimer, Ma, LMHC was right when she said that.


Our friends, whose marriages were also arranged, keep on telling me that I should give it a go and try the “love” thing with her – who knows, we might fall in love. We never hit it off like that. I never gave her a chance, I guess. The last time we were intimate was a month after our wedding night, and I believe that was when I got her pregnant. That encounter was a nightmare for me.





I Had To Tell Her

One night, I went to her room – yes we have separate bedrooms – and I asked her if we could talk. She is a kind-hearted woman and a very loving mother. My guilt was eating up on me, and frankly, I needed a release. I had to tell her. She has the right to know. I don’t want her to waste time on me and stay with me for more years when I can offer her nothing. I finally told her that I am gay, and her reaction stunned me.


“I know.” She said that and smiled. “I know who you are from the start.”


“Why did you agree?” I said.


“It’s a daughter’s duty. And you are a good person. I know that.” She answered.


“How can I be good when I have committed a grave sin to you?” I asked.


“You mean, your men? I know about that too.” She said.


“Then, why are you still here with me?” I was shocked by her answers.


“When we grow old, Ming, I know that you will be a great companion. I still believe in my heart that even if you don’t see me as your lover now, in the end, we are destined partners in business and life. We have a son together. He needs us both.” She wiped a tear rolling down her cheek.


She also added, “It hurts, Ming, every time you lie. Every time you meet up with your lovers, it’s painful for me. But I have grown to love you, and I know deep inside that you care for me too. If you are willing, I want us to work it out.”


This woman is unbelievable. I have never met a person who is as selfless as her. She has to be an angel to be able to accept me for who I am and adjust even if I have wronged her. And yes, I may not be in love/lust with her, but as I said, I care for her. Maybe, there is something here, after all.




I Decided To Go Into LGBTQ Counseling

Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP said, “Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes a lot of work. It takes commitment and a willingness to forgive and move forward.” These urges with other men will pass. I’m sure of it. But what we have, what I have with my wife can be a forever thing. I have to work on myself and control my sexual needs. My wrongdoings have hurt her, as she said, and I need to stop causing her pain. With this, I decided to go into LGBTQ Counseling. Hopefully, there is a bright future for me and us. I have to give us a chance at life and love.

How To Deal With Behavioral Disorders Within The Family

It was truly difficult for all of us when we learned the truth – me, my husband, our firstborn and second born, and maybe, even more for our youngest child. You see, we always knew that he was special. He is the baby of the family and we never really noticed “signs” in him that he was different. We just accepted the fact that he was “late” in everything; late in learning how to walk and to talk.


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