Battling With Our Inner Demons (Mental Health Discussion)

Every one of us has our inner demons. Some of it resonates with the traumatic experience, low self-confidence, or fear of failure. That is okay. We all have to deal with things that we sometimes know eat us from the inside and out. But contrary to what we often believe, inner demons are not formless forces of evil that influences us to do bad things. Instead, it is the response in behavior that we do to survive emotionally and mentally. Our inner demons come from the thought that we need to process and heal from. To face it, we need to accept its existence and confront our fears. That way, we can become a better version of ourselves.



The Unexplained Weight Above Our Head

Our inner demons vary from one person to another. However, one similarity that every one of us experiences is the unexplained weight above our head. It is as if every day is a mess. It feels like there is a mountain in front of us that we need to climb. There is this feeling that impending doom is just around the corner, waiting for a perfect moment to drag us down the pit. Usually, that weight of inner demons is the depression that we secretly have. It turns out that the struggle we are dealing with is a serious mental health disorder that causes damage to all aspects of our lives. It makes us feel worthless, empty, exhausted, and guilty for nothing in particular.

The Immeasurable Sense Of Indignity

Often, our inner demons are so powerful that it makes us want to isolate ourselves from everyone. That is because of the self-consciousness and embarrassment we feel, even if we shouldn’t have to. In some instances, that shame becomes self-hate overtime. It takes a toll on all phases of our lives and makes us believe that we are incapable of a lot of things. That particular immeasurable sense of indignity is our low self-esteem. It is an inner demon that waits to be rectified. Because if not, it will continue with its voices in our head, inputting ideas that we are not good enough.


The Unwanted Voices In Our Head

The voices in our heads often represent our inner demons. It is as if there is someone inside us that continuously tells us we are not good enough and that we are stupid for creating a mistake. That explains why we sometimes curse and look down on ourselves in the mirror. It is an inner demon that signifies self-criticism. It is like having a literal monster living inside of our heads. The voices are responsible for isolating us and making us feel that we can’t do things on our own. That is why when we try something new or consider taking a risk, that voice mocks us. It sticks to the idea that we will always fail, that we can never change, and that we will be forever alone.

The Constant Thought Of Things Not Being Right

In a more discrete representation of our inner demons, we often feel that something is not right. It is a kind of feeling that distracts us from thinking straight. Our mind gets filled with negative thoughts, and that makes us expect bad things to happen. Ironically, we don’t like bad things to happen, but we feel relieved when it occurs. We validate our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors based on the negative result we expect to take place. That particular inner demon is known as anxiety – a mental health disorder that keeps growing over time. It causes serious symptoms such as rapid heart rate, dreadfulness, hyperventilation, and panic attacks.


The Comfort Of Playing It Safe

Our inner demons have a lot to do with our fear, particularly in the idea of failing. We are afraid to fail that we sometimes never consider trying. The fear of failure prevents us from developing our strengths and often locks us with weakness and incapability. It stops us from moving forward to making things better for our growth and development in an unfortunate situation. The concept of fear is scary that we often do not attempt to fight it. We choose to play it safe, not understanding that when it seeps in every aspect of our lives, it cripples us up to the point that we no longer want to do things.


These inner demons may be loud or can show significant points to ponder, but these don’t mean they are correct. It is vital that we all practice self-awareness. Our painful emotions don’t immediately represent the whole of us. Thus, we need to find courage in removing these toxicities that lies within us. We have to put up a fight and win against all circumstances. Yes, it is not easy. But with a little motivation, positivity, and self-love, winning from our inner demons becomes 100% possible.

Signs That You Have A Toxic Family Environment

If you experience an occasional quarrel within your siblings and disagreements with your parents, that’s okay. You are still under a good family relationship. Those misunderstandings help you realize the roles of everyone in the unit. However, if family issues are persistent and constant, then perhaps you are dealing with a dysfunctional family environment. If you are not aware of the breeding conflict, anxiety, stress, and fear among family members, here are the following signs that can tell.


You Feel Alone And Invisible All The Time

There are significant moments that you need to spend time alone with yourself. It allows you to gain awareness of the things around you. However, if that self-isolation seems to entail neglect from your family members, it can be incredibly damaging not only to your mental health but also to your emotional health. Usually, you get to experience that when your parents and siblings are often busy. It makes you feel invisible when they spend too much time with work, friends, and other stuff that doesn’t involve you. Usually, your family never makes time to hang out with you, and they never notice how you are doing.

You Feel Discarded And Misunderstood

It is normal for every family to have misunderstandings. Perhaps you already tried talking to them about how you feel. However, when you feel like no one in your family seems to care and understand what you are going through, it can imply that you might be living in a toxic environment. Unfortunately, when your family doesn’t care, it would not matter to them even if you cry for help. They will not support and care for you even though it is pretty obvious that you are struggling. These individuals will remain indifferent and unsympathetic.


You Feel Pressured All The Time

Your family is supposed to help and accept you no matter what. But if you feel a little lost, worthless, and full of guilt because you are not meeting their unrealistic high standards, perhaps there is something wrong in the relationship. You’ll recognize your home environment’s toxicity when your family is imposing conditions of worth on you. Thus, forcing you to become someone else or better. It is a toxic behavior because you begin to do things for your family only because you want recognition. You even force yourself to live up to their expectations. You deal with their constant criticism and judgmental treatment.

You Feel Suffocated Being With Them

Your family should be another positive thing that can make you happy and satisfied with life. However, when you feel suffocated just by being around them, it is a sign of toxicity. It is where you think you need to come home and spend time with them even if it doesn’t make you feel excited. You feel like you only have to be with them because you have no choice. Sometimes, a toxic family hinders you from having a comfortable life. They will make you feel guilty for supposedly abandoning them. Usually, these family members paint you as a villain to the story.


You Feel Used And Taken For Granted

As part of the circle of your family, there are things you do for them as well. You show love and care so that they will know how much you value them in your life. However, when you feel like your family members are only kind to you when they need something, that is a different story. It is a definite red flag courtesy of having a toxic family. Usually, family members who act this way often manipulate you. They somehow know how to take advantage of you. These people exploit you because they know they can get whatever they want. You become nothing more to them than a means to an end. Thus, these individuals will continually take everything from you without ever considering giving something back.

You Feel Constantly Unhappy

It is common for families to have occasional bad days. Honestly, that’s what makes it more interesting in understanding yourself and others. It is entirely healthy, and there is nothing wrong with that. But in a toxic familial situation, this feeling is somewhat unacceptable. It drags you down into an overwhelming sense of negativities. Most of the time, even though you find a way to make things better, your family stops you from being happy. They have this mentality that you are not supposed to be happy if they are not happy themselves. It feels like they are trying to tell you that their issues in life are your entire fault.


Note that there is no perfect peaceful family. Every family relationship is different. But if you happen to notice that this toxicity builds up over time, it would be best to secure yourself. Do not allow this toxic environment to rot, and don’t wait for things to come into an unbearable point.


How Can Marriages Survive Coronavirus

Due to the coronavirus’s pandemic, couples have been spending much longer time together than usual. Busy lives have come to a halt, and suddenly there’s more time to spare. Marriages now are being challenged by this situation. Because couples are almost always together 24/7, the tiny imperfections seem to magnify, the tension in the household rises quickly, and suddenly the feeling gets stuffy.

According to Phillip Lee M.D. and Diane Rudolph M.D., “Quarantine together is a magnifying glass on the relationship. If it’s really, really good, then it will be spring break, a walk in the park. If it’s really bad, already at each other’s throats, then the number of negative interactions will spike like the bad coronavirus curve on TV.”

It is unsure how long the pandemic will last, so it is essential to nurture these relationships. Here are some tips on how to survive the pandemic.

Give Criticisms A Break

Right now is a stressful time for everyone. It is not a good time to bring back old issues, especially those that concern finances. It may only lead to serious arguments. If these issues have been resolved in the past, avoid bringing it back on the table.

Instead, appreciate the everyday little things. Even if your spouse has been making you coffee for all the years you are married, still, say a word of appreciation. It will make things better. Remember, gratitude is the memory of the heart. Also, try doing an activity where at night, you think of three things that you are most grateful for your partner for each day.


Plan Your Routine

Planning tasks ahead of time allow the leveling of expectations. Most often than not, fights begin when there is an unmet expectation. Delegate the job of cleaning, cooking, laundry, and other household chores. In this way, no one carries single-handedly the burden of running the household. 

Also, plan other activities to add excitement to the daily routine. Schedule movie nights for the entire family, maybe once a week. Board games are also a good idea to increase family bonding while staying at home. Remember not to be too tight on the schedule; as much as it is for everyone’s welfare, it might be the root of the argument.

Still Allow Space

Being together almost every hour of every day may seem to constrict the atmosphere. To avoid this feeling, allow each other some personal time. The space you allow can be room to breathe, to refresh the mind, and to think clearly. Some people need time for themselves to recharge and re-center themselves.

If you have hobbies that you can do in the comforts of your home, do it. It helps in putting yourself in the right headspace. You can do lots of things like reading, painting, crafting, crocheting, baking, and even sports! Just do anything that can help you feel better.


Intimate Or Not

For most, it may be a good time for some intimacy with your partner. It can be a break from the ordinary every day and can help get your mind off the unpleasant things that are happening. Experts say that it is a vital part of marriage.

But then, it is not unusual if your partner is not into it. The stress caused by external factors can affect the desire to engage in sexual activity. Always respect the invisible boundary and remember that no means no.

Talk Everyday

With or without a pandemic, it’s essential always to communicate. Misunderstandings, more often than not, emerge from miscommunication. Your partners cannot read minds, so tell me them what you want or what you need. Don’t expect your partners to know what to do if you don’t tell them the problem.

Sometimes, partners look from different lenses and see the same thing but on different perspectives. To be able to solve this, partners should communicate to stay on the same page.


Argue Well

If, after communicating, varying points of view still pose a problem, handle the argument well. Don’t quarrel when you are both raging. Words can be twice as sharp when in a heated situation. Allow an hour to collect your thoughts and to breathe before starting the discussion. This way, you can control the situation where the kids don’t have to witness it.

Take extra caution in arguing during a pandemic, because it is a stressful situation; everything can be blown out of proportion. Add in extra patience than usual. Also, be more empathetic towards your spouse.

This global health crisis is becoming an economic crisis, and this pandemic is a stressful situation. This tense situation inevitably affects marriages, as well. Times may be hard, but working together is key in keeping the boat afloat amidst the rough sea.

How The COVID-19 Outbreak Is Affecting Our Mental Health


With over two million cases across 210 countries as of writing, the coronavirus pandemic continues to spread. With most nations shutting their borders, they’ve also placed many of their citizens under community quarantine. Social distancing is the new norm as residents are to stay indoors. But this crisis is damaging not only to physical health.

Similar to the virus itself, its impact on our mental well-being does not discriminate. Anyone can experience these issues during the pandemic as well as after its resolution. Here is how the crisis affects us psychologically:

Causes Anxiety And Distress

The feelings we all most likely share at the moment are distress and anxiety. Such is not surprising given how there’s a lot to be worrying over.

For one, there’s the disease itself. Since COVID-19 is a new illness, there is currently no cure for it. It’s thus especially scary to become infected. Low recovery rates in certain countries also further add to the anxiety. Health workers are especially at risk.

Similarly, we not only worry about ourselves but also for our loved ones. While some of us can afford to stay at home, others continue to work outside. Those who work in hospitals and clinics, food establishments, groceries, pharmacies, and the like come into contact with others every day. We don’t know how safe they are during this time.


Next, there’s distress over the disruption of our usual routine. Many of us have patterns of what we do daily, such as going to work or school which we don’t get to do anymore. Jobs have shifted to work-from-home arrangements, and students have no choice but to learn online.

Lastly, we feel anxiety over the uncertainty of the future. Most affected countries continue to see new cases every day. There’s no definitive estimate as to when this will all end. Many are worried that they won’t have a job after this pandemic. Students wait as their schools and universities are unsure how to proceed with the rest of the semester. Small businesses worry whether they can recover after the pandemic.

When dealing with anxiety, the best thing to keep in mind is that there are things we cannot control. Try to focus on what we can do for now. Try not to listen to the news for too long, as the negative headlines can take a toll on us. Continue to reach out to loved ones for emotional support.

Despite the pandemic restricting our movements, counseling remains accessible through online platforms such as BetterHelp. It is a trusted way for many to take care of their mental state continuously.

Brings About Sadness And Depression


Another thing many of us are feeling nowadays is sadness. With how the pandemic changed our lives in a short amount of time, the trauma can lead to depression.

As we mentioned earlier, many of us are self-isolated due to social distancing and quarantine protocols. Some of us are lucky that we can communicate with our loved ones through the internet or phones. However, the physical distance between us can still leave us feeling lonely. The causes of anxiety we discussed earlier can also lead to a feeling of sadness.

If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, don’t be scared to reach out to others. Watch out for signs such as a prolonged feeling of sadness, insomnia or oversleeping, crying episodes, irritability, and difficulty in concentrating. Look online to find if there are options for you to talk to a counselor for help. Open up to your loved ones about how you feel and ask for support. It’s best to deal with these issues before they get worse.

Pushes Us Toward Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Another effect of this pandemic is that it can push us towards unhealthy coping strategies and vices. Being cooped up at home can disconnect us from our usual support system. Some may rely on their friends for help while others turn to activities such as working out. Stuck indoors, people may start looking towards other coping mechanisms, such as alcohol, cigarettes, or even self-harm.


During these times, you have to try to be as resilient as you can. Stick to positive ways of coping, such as seeking external help, meditation, and physical activity. Remove anything in your home that can tempt you into dealing with the pandemic negatively.


Nobody can deny how large of an impact the coronavirus epidemic has had on our lives. It’s a traumatic experience for us all, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and sadness. Such can also put us at risk of developing maladaptive coping mechanisms.

However, such feelings are normal to experience during trying times such as these. By recognizing how the outbreak is affecting us, we can start to find ways to overcome this new challenge. During this crisis, we must pay attention not only to our physical well-being but also to our mental health. 

It is entirely reasonable to feel uneasy when the world is in an unusual state. If you need further assistance in coping, you might find counseling helpful.

Exposure Therapy Can Help In An Abusive Relationship That Causes PTSD




A relationship with someone who doesn’t acknowledge your worth is always damaging. However, there are times that even if we already knew the proper things we should do, we tend to stick to the usual activities that harm us in a lot of ways. For example, even if we’re aware that our partner is continuously abusing us, we tend to feel the lack of courage and self-worth to fight against it. That’s because we are afraid of the consequences of the supposed actions we are about to take.


The Intervention

According to Colleen Cira, PsyD., a psychologist “PTSD comes from some type of traumatic event.” Exposure therapy is a psychological technique derived from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It mainly focuses on addressing issues of phobias and PTSD. It helps in addressing anxiety disorder and other specific mental illnesses that come from severe cases of psychological, emotional and physical torture. It is a type of therapy that breaks the pattern of fear by exposing the person to a progressively higher amount of fear-inducing stimuli. From there, it creates a step-by-step solution in addressing the level of traumatic impact so the patient can slowly terminate the underlying cause of mental and emotional pain.




“Fear, or getting scared, is an emotion that’s part of our biology as human beings, just like other emotions such as sadness, joy and anger. It serves a purpose that’s crucial to our ability to survive,” says Steve Orma, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. However, the fear and pain that are associated with the traumatic event can be particular. It can come from mental torture, emotional neglect, and physical abuse. The process of exposure therapy can bring back all those unwanted emotions and memories that sometimes make it hard for the patient to handle. In some unfortunate events, both the therapist and the patient might lose track of the procedure and end up making everything worse.


Constant Reminder

It’s important to continue learning about the proper procedure of exposure therapy to avoid additional traumas. This type of therapy is very crucial that if not well assessed, it can no longer support the process of recovery and can somehow make the mental illness worse. So before trying out this type of treatment, make sure that you seek someone who specializes in this kind of intervention and secure information regarding their training and practices. Ask for credentials and research for reviews so you can confidently feel safe in the process.




The Choice Is Yours

For some cases, some people don’t want to recall any of the traumatic experiences they have with their abusive partner. They want to forget about it and erase it in their memory as much as possible. That’s because sometimes it is too much to handle. However, for those people who consider working their fears through exposure therapy, they are at their own risk. The gradual recollection of the past life-changing experiences can be painful and distressful, so they need to assess their selves to be able to know their capability when it comes to tolerating the emotional and psychological trauma.

As much as you want to save your relationship, you need to consider your overall health first. Marc Romano, PsyD suggests to “Focus on yourself and your own happiness and do not compare yourself to others.” There’s no easiest way in addressing an abusive relationship because whether you like it not, it’s not the kind of commitment that you would want to stick with because it doesn’t contribute to your overall development.

Stress In Your Relationship? Tune In To Music



Whether we like or not, there will come a time in our relationship when we’ll experience tons of stressful situations. Sometimes, we won’t even have time to figure out solutions in an instant because our anxiety will probably take over our mental state. In some cases, we only want to relax and forget about everything that flares up our emotional and psychological state. Good thing there’s music because we can always consider it as our sweet escape.


Music Therapy

One of the most comfortable and convenient types of therapy that people tend to use almost every day is music therapy. It has a therapeutic effect that helps in improving the psychological, physical, and emotional functions of the brain. In some fortunate events, it helps in addressing a person’s confused mindset as well as enhancing his human capabilities. It also helps in re-aligning cognitive, emotional, and social issues that people often have difficulties addressing.

“Many people listen to music because they identify with the song’s words and the strong emotions felt. Often people describe that listening to music has a therapeutic effect that impacts their overall mood.” –Abigail Saneholtz, Psy.D




Music And The Mind

Music adds a fundamental aspect of human life. It creates a connection between our mind and body that keeps us healthy in so many ways. It reduces stress level and supports the proper function of our brain and keeps us away from mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. It improves our psychological strength so we can properly work on our positive aspects such as problem-solving and decision-making. Also, music can give us a total brain workout where we can get a quality of sleep, mental alertness, memory, and mood. Also, it helps in the recovery progression of those people who are experiencing mental or psychological relapses.


Music And The Soul

Music allows us to feel an emotional rejuvenation. With the right tune and category from a wide selection, it can positively change our moods. It gives us a relaxing effect that transforms our feelings into something happy and assertive. With our engaging emotions, we tend to become more aware of our feelings and create neutral connections to other people as well. It contributes to our self-expression and self-confidence that we can use in a day-to-day encounter because it lets us develop a constructive emotional strength that stimulates active retention and appreciation to life.


Music And The Body

We might be surprised at how good we may feel whenever we try to listen to our favorite music. It doesn’t only enhance our emotional and psychological strength but also supports our physical capabilities as well. It somehow contributes to the organization of our nerve cells that is very much useful in maintaining a functioning heart rate. It stimulates the brain by allowing the body to send out endorphins that reduce body pain and certain chronic illnesses. Aside from that, music can give us normal moving genes that can help us in faster recovery.

“While music has long been recognized as an effective form of therapy to provide an outlet for emotions, the notion of using song, sound frequencies and rhythm to treat physical ailments is a relatively new domain.” –Daniel J. Levitin, PhD



“Therapy doesn’t have to be talk-based; there are some modalities, like music therapy.” Hannah Goodman, LMHC said. There’s no wonder music is always a good choice of therapy. It’s convenient, enjoyable, and effective. So next time you feel like there’s a weight on your shoulder, listen to some of Beyonce’s relationship-related music. You’ll not only end up smiling but also singing your heart out as well.

But if the music does not work for you, remember that there are counseling apps, like BetterHelp, for you. You might also want to connect with others who are going through the same thing, through social media sites.

The Advantage Of Emotion-Focused Therapy In Marital Issues




In a relationship, all you need is someone who understands you and accepts you for who you are. You need the kind of commitment where you can become yourself without any judgment and criticism. You embark yourself on the idea of gaining a better development that helps in reshaping your personality, your life, and your future. You need a stable attachment and a secure relationship to regulate yourself so you can establish well-deserved emotional health.

The possibility of knowing yourself begins in recognizing your bad and good emotions. “You definitely can hang on to your unique self, trusting you do know yourself enough, while still leaving space for another person to be their own true selves.” Psychotherapist Sona DeLurgio, PsyD, LMFT explains. With that, there’s a need for identifying your marital attachment to be able to follow or break a cycle that frames and locks your feelings. Fortunately, you experience different types of problems not because of the kinds of feelings you have but preferably with the perception you put into each of your life occurrences. You undergo the process of self-expression where you tend to respond to the impact of the different levels of situations.




Emotion-Focused Therapy

Emotion-focused therapy is common in a couple and family therapy world because it’s not the process of deliberately altering your thoughts or behavior but instead creating a direct contact with your inner experience. It connects with your unique intelligence and targets the rooted perception, thought, and behavior that links to your emotion. It helps in removing competitive patterns of negative feelings and changes it into fresh and invigorating ones. It is the process where you tend to move into a variety of task that is designed to foster psychological and emotional growth. It serves as a tool in assisting your life decisions and current choices. Robin D. Stone, LMHC often says, “The benefits of therapy are vast, including having an objective perspective on happenings in your life, a sounding board for you to talk through options before taking action, a place where you can deepen self-awareness, access resources to support your growth and personal development, and much more.”





The Process Of Intervention

When it comes to damaged emotion, there’s a great significance of experiencing the pain and suffering for you to heal it.  The treatment requires your full attention where it can sometimes make you feel scared, nervous, strange, but excited at the same time. The whole process is both comforting and informative because you can be at the exact moment of having emotional difficulty. You somehow create a connection with your inner thoughts and current emotions. It provides a useful and straightforward way to reduce anger, anxiety, and depression.

The engaging creative process of emotion-focused therapy can work with your desire to achieve the phase of where you want to be. Sometimes, it might require self-criticism for you to be able to accept yourself as a whole. In some instances, you need to be able to determine your weak points and let it stay in your core so you can use it as a guide for your overall development. You need to reinstate hope for yourself and base your judgment using both emotional and mental aspects.

EFT supports a healthy relationship as well as a functioning emotional and mental state. Any emotional and psychological approach is prone to exploration that will eventually become something that will serve us for the better. As Hannah Goodman, LMHC elaborates, “Therapy and couples counseling can drastically improve your relationship issues” Our reactions and responses to the different types of situations in our marriage, in particular, can impact the kind of relationship we want so we need to know how to use it properly.

Finding “A Counseling Near Me”



Are you struggling inside but not sure what to do? Are you searching for help but hesitant about where you should go? Mental health is most of the time ignored. People are too confident with their psychological capacity that they do not give importance to signs which are indicative of problems. Do not be like most people. Take the first step toward a healthy mind.

As you type in “counseling near me,” what are you actually looking for? Do you have someone or something in mind? What are your expectations? If it is your first time to seek professional help, you might be clueless about what to look for? All you have in mind is to get help with the current struggle you are experiencing. Stacy Donn Cristo, LMHC once said, “Many people turn to therapy because they feel as though they are not functioning. Most people come feeling depressed or anxious and fear that they are defective.” That explains it.

What You Should Be Looking For When You Are Searching For “Counseling” Or “A Counselor Near Me”:

  1. Search for someone who offers the help you need. According to The New York Times, when your concern is you are troubled with illnesses such as depression, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, the professional you should be looking for is a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist.
  2. Look for qualifications and credentials. It gives you ease to know that you will be assisted by someone who has extensive experience or knowledge about your case. Look for past experiences and specialties. Take time to read the counselor’s biography and philosophy. Find out if he or she is the person you need. But remember, “Experience and credentials are important, but it’s usually the personality of a therapist and the therapeutic rapport that develops between teen and therapist that is the most important factor of all.” That is according to Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW.
  1. Find a counselor who would not cost you a fortune. Of course, your health is priceless, but that does not mean you have to be financially problematic to get help. Search for a counselor who has a qualification and credibility but at the same time affordable.
  2. Look for online reviews about the counselor and search for previous cases he or she had handled and read through any comments about his or her services. You will definitely know much information from the internet that will help you decide whether you will opt to seek his or her services.
  3. Once you think you have chosen a counselor to help you out, you can visit his or clinic to meet in person. Make an appointment if you may. It will give you an experience of how your counseling sessions will be. Although the first impression is not always the last, your gut can tell you whether you are comfortable with someone or not.

We should all give importance to our mental health that’s why we should seek help once we notice there is something different in our behavior that is affecting how we function every day and how we get along with the people around us.

The internet could provide you with the help you need regarding finding the right counselor. All you have to do is type in “counseling near me,” and the list of counselors nearby will be available for you to browse through.

Always be thorough in choosing the right counseling for you because your mental wellness depends on the help you get. “A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it.” Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC said. As much as possible, be very keen and do not rush onto every counselor you see. Take your time and ascertain your mental wellness.


Solution-Focused Therapy: Dealing With Stressful Financial Matters



One of the primary sources of stress is money. Who doesn’t worry about money? Even 1% of the population which comprises the wealthy still worry about money, differently though. They worry about where to put and how to spend it. But seriously, if money is your problem, then the solution to it is figurable as money is concrete and countable.

You don’t need to be an accountant to figure out how you’re going to solve your financial problems. Sometimes, the answer is already at the back of our head, but you refuse to acknowledge it because it’s too simple or too insignificant to make a difference. However, sometimes, the solution to our problems involves small things like how you need 100 cents to make a dollar.

Ben Martin, Psy.D. once said, “A stressful change in life patterns can trigger a depressive episode. Such stressful events may include a serious loss, a difficult relationship, trauma, or financial problems.” If your main stressor is your finances, there are simple ways where you can gain freedom financially. No, you don’t have to rob a bank. You just have to manage what you already have and organize your thoughts the right way, solution-focused inspired.

Here Are Some Simple Ways You Can Do To Break Free From Money Problems:

Don’t Spend Too Much


Only spend on your necessities, and don’t go to the mall during payday. There’s a big chance you’re going to spend money buying stuff you don’t need. Some may just be a gift for yourself for working so hard or something that may catch your attention like expensive shoes on the shelf.

List Your Payables Beforehand

“Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.” Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach says. Therefore, by listing all the things you need to pay, you can track whether you have an extra for anything else. It will prevent you from acquiring debts that could be avoided if you just focused.

Avoid Dining Out

Remember that when you are dining out, it makes you pay for the place and services too, which are pricey, so when you know you are tight on a budget, it is better to eat at home and develop your cooking skills.

Don’t Go To The Mall During Sale

When you see a red tag saying it’s 25% off making you save $25 when its original price is $100, don’t buy it because you will end up not saving anything but spending $75. You don’t need the item in the first place.

If you think that you struggle in controlling your impulse, online counseling such as BetterHelp may benefit you. In case you want to learn more about how it will help you, there are reading sources for you.

Don’t Rely On One Income Alone


When you are an employee and earning the minimum wage, there’s a big chance that you will have a hard time having a comfortable life, let alone saving. You don’t want to spend three more decades sitting in front of a computer filling out sheets. Learn about other ways that can help you earn some more. It doesn’t have to be big, but in the long run, you will realize that it is useful. “When it comes to your money, you always have the power to make a difference, so recognize that choices exist for you to improve any financial problem.” Bahareh Talei, Psy.D. said.

Solution-focused therapy aims to find a solution to your problem, and for the examples above, they are pointers on how to solve your issues in managing your finances. When you think about them, they are quite simple and obvious, but that’s entirely the point. Why do most people choose the hard way if they have easy options to take?





Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – Solution For Stress And Anxiety In A Toxic Marriage



There will always be a time that you probably won’t understand the flow of your marriage. “Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner,” says Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC. The pressuring stress will eventually give you tons of mental illness that you sometimes won’t even notice. In some instances, you become more focus on deliberately knowing your health condition rather than figuring out ways to stay positive all the time. You consume yourself with worries, fears, loneliness, and agitation. So how can you help yourself in that situation? Well, cognitive behavioral therapy is a great option.


What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT is a type of psychotherapy that takes a practical and hands-on approach to problem-solving. “Cognitive behavioral therapy, often shortened to CBT, focuses on recognizing negative thought patterns and changing thoughts and behaviors and feelings through concrete skills.” explains Hannah Goodman, LMHC. It treats problems and mental condition by altering dysfunctional emotions and behavior. Though the process takes a short-term approach, it is the only type of therapy that you can perhaps monitor the level of possible improvements. CBT is a direct method of knowing what you think about your problems and encourages you to provide specific solutions on how to address those particular issues. It does not focus on the information you gather from your traumatic life experiences but instead directly assisting your thoughts towards that specific event.




How CBT Works

The primary procedure that CBT uses a lot is the process of “thought tracking.” It is where you tend to list all the automatic thoughts you have and evaluate an event as to where it leads your mental and emotional state. Like for example, your spouse or significant other tends to abuse you, and that traumatic experience is something that drives you to a certain level of depression. CBT will not focus on that specific event but rather lean towards how you use your thoughts in that situation. You may think that you’re unworthy, you deserve the abuse, you’re hopeless or whatever reasons it might be that feeds into your mind that validates the domestic violence.

For many of us, we tend to develop unnoticed thoughts whenever we experience a toxic and devastating type of marital relationship because there are underlying assumptions that support our automatic views. For example, when we feel that we are not worthy of anything, it means something more than that. CBT tries to go deeper into that assumption as to why we devalue ourselves. In further progression, the therapy makes us think about the specific things we thought about ourselves and why we tend to set those ideas into our minds.

CBT becomes so dominant in addressing our mental illness because it catches those thoughts that we are not aware of having. It gives us the purpose of knowing the meaning of our ideas about ourselves and addresses it down until we can get to that core belief, which could be anything from extreme emotional neglect.

“CBT is a relatively brief, skills-focused treatment that has been shown to be effective for a wide variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, anger, social skills deficits, and relational problems.” –Shelby Harris, PsyD, CBSM





Once we can recognize all those automatic thoughts we have and figure out what causes them, we can get to that point of addressing the issue whatever it may be. From there, CBT can assist us in learning ways on how we can tell ourselves to stop thinking about those unwanted thoughts.

Online counseling platforms like, for example, BetterHelp provides Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Rest assured that licensed and professional therapists can help you with your situation.