Solution-Focused Therapy: Dealing With Stressful Financial Matters

 

Source: pixabay.com

One of the primary sources of stress is money. Who doesn’t worry about money? Even 1% of the population which comprises the wealthy still worry about money, differently though. They worry about where to put and how to spend it. But seriously, if money is your problem, then the solution to it is figurable as money is concrete and countable.

You don’t need to be an accountant to figure out how you’re going to solve your financial problems. Sometimes, the answer is already at the back of our head, but you refuse to acknowledge it because it’s too simple or too insignificant to make a difference. However, sometimes, the solution to our problems involves small things like how you need 100 cents to make a dollar.

Ben Martin, Psy.D. once said, “A stressful change in life patterns can trigger a depressive episode. Such stressful events may include a serious loss, a difficult relationship, trauma, or financial problems.” If your main stressor is your finances, there are simple ways where you can gain freedom financially. No, you don’t have to rob a bank. You just have to manage what you already have and organize your thoughts the right way, solution-focused inspired.

Here Are Some Simple Ways You Can Do To Break Free From Money Problems:

Don’t Spend Too Much

Source: unsplash.com

Only spend on your necessities, and don’t go to the mall during payday. There’s a big chance you’re going to spend money buying stuff you don’t need. Some may just be a gift for yourself for working so hard or something that may catch your attention like expensive shoes on the shelf.

List Your Payables Beforehand

“Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.” Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach says. Therefore, by listing all the things you need to pay, you can track whether you have an extra for anything else. It will prevent you from acquiring debts that could be avoided if you just focused.

Avoid Dining Out

Remember that when you are dining out, it makes you pay for the place and services too, which are pricey, so when you know you are tight on a budget, it is better to eat at home and develop your cooking skills.

Don’t Go To The Mall During Sale

When you see a red tag saying it’s 25% off making you save $25 when its original price is $100, don’t buy it because you will end up not saving anything but spending $75. You don’t need the item in the first place.

If you think that you struggle in controlling your impulse, online counseling such as BetterHelp may benefit you. In case you want to learn more about how it will help you, there are reading sources for you.

Don’t Rely On One Income Alone

Source: unsplash.com

When you are an employee and earning the minimum wage, there’s a big chance that you will have a hard time having a comfortable life, let alone saving. You don’t want to spend three more decades sitting in front of a computer filling out sheets. Learn about other ways that can help you earn some more. It doesn’t have to be big, but in the long run, you will realize that it is useful. “When it comes to your money, you always have the power to make a difference, so recognize that choices exist for you to improve any financial problem.” Bahareh Talei, Psy.D. said.

Solution-focused therapy aims to find a solution to your problem, and for the examples above, they are pointers on how to solve your issues in managing your finances. When you think about them, they are quite simple and obvious, but that’s entirely the point. Why do most people choose the hard way if they have easy options to take?

 

 

 

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – Solution For Stress And Anxiety In A Toxic Marriage

Source: pixabay.com

 

There will always be a time that you probably won’t understand the flow of your marriage. “Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner,” says Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC. The pressuring stress will eventually give you tons of mental illness that you sometimes won’t even notice. In some instances, you become more focus on deliberately knowing your health condition rather than figuring out ways to stay positive all the time. You consume yourself with worries, fears, loneliness, and agitation. So how can you help yourself in that situation? Well, cognitive behavioral therapy is a great option.

 

What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT is a type of psychotherapy that takes a practical and hands-on approach to problem-solving. “Cognitive behavioral therapy, often shortened to CBT, focuses on recognizing negative thought patterns and changing thoughts and behaviors and feelings through concrete skills.” explains Hannah Goodman, LMHC. It treats problems and mental condition by altering dysfunctional emotions and behavior. Though the process takes a short-term approach, it is the only type of therapy that you can perhaps monitor the level of possible improvements. CBT is a direct method of knowing what you think about your problems and encourages you to provide specific solutions on how to address those particular issues. It does not focus on the information you gather from your traumatic life experiences but instead directly assisting your thoughts towards that specific event.

 

Source: wikimedia.org

 

How CBT Works

The primary procedure that CBT uses a lot is the process of “thought tracking.” It is where you tend to list all the automatic thoughts you have and evaluate an event as to where it leads your mental and emotional state. Like for example, your spouse or significant other tends to abuse you, and that traumatic experience is something that drives you to a certain level of depression. CBT will not focus on that specific event but rather lean towards how you use your thoughts in that situation. You may think that you’re unworthy, you deserve the abuse, you’re hopeless or whatever reasons it might be that feeds into your mind that validates the domestic violence.

For many of us, we tend to develop unnoticed thoughts whenever we experience a toxic and devastating type of marital relationship because there are underlying assumptions that support our automatic views. For example, when we feel that we are not worthy of anything, it means something more than that. CBT tries to go deeper into that assumption as to why we devalue ourselves. In further progression, the therapy makes us think about the specific things we thought about ourselves and why we tend to set those ideas into our minds.

CBT becomes so dominant in addressing our mental illness because it catches those thoughts that we are not aware of having. It gives us the purpose of knowing the meaning of our ideas about ourselves and addresses it down until we can get to that core belief, which could be anything from extreme emotional neglect.

“CBT is a relatively brief, skills-focused treatment that has been shown to be effective for a wide variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, anger, social skills deficits, and relational problems.” –Shelby Harris, PsyD, CBSM

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

Conclusion

Once we can recognize all those automatic thoughts we have and figure out what causes them, we can get to that point of addressing the issue whatever it may be. From there, CBT can assist us in learning ways on how we can tell ourselves to stop thinking about those unwanted thoughts.

Online counseling platforms like, for example, BetterHelp provides Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Rest assured that licensed and professional therapists can help you with your situation.

Music Therapy For Anxiety And Depression

“Let the music heal your soul.” – This statement expresses what music can do. It can heal our soul, and the soul is a profound word to describe what’s inside us. It consists of our thoughts, emotions, aspirations, personalities, and all the things that make us who we are. Anything that disturbs the peace in our soul affects how we function in our everyday lives, so making sure that we are healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is essential in our happiness and longevity.

 

Source: pexels.com

Continue reading Music Therapy For Anxiety And Depression

Thou Shall Not Steal: Kleptomania And Psychiatry

Any form of stealing is a crime, may it be from an urgent need, life or death situation, or even for the benefit of the poor (like Robinhood robbing the rich and giving to the poor). What if a person is stealing out of an impulse or anxiety? What if a person has kleptomania? Would the law of man acquit him? What does psychiatry have to say about it?

 

Source: flickr.com

Continue reading Thou Shall Not Steal: Kleptomania And Psychiatry

5 Mental Health Disorders And How They Can Benefit From Online Therapy

People often ignore mental health disorders that are not physically harmful, but they should know that immediate intervention is vital to treating several conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety/panic disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

 

Source: pixabay.com

 

Continue reading 5 Mental Health Disorders And How They Can Benefit From Online Therapy

What Happens In Sex Addiction Counseling?

  

Source: pixabay.com

 

 

My wife was promiscuous. There I said it. Are we still together, you ask? Yes, we are, and I know, it’s a miracle. Even though it hurts to the bone that the woman I love, the mother of my children, and my partner in life is like this, I cannot hold the compulsive behavior against her. She is a nymphomaniac, and that was brought about by her difficult childhood, and so I have to understand.

“Most frequently, these addictive sexual behaviors are categorized on three levels according to the degree of risk and the legal consequences involved. Level one behaviors may include: masturbation, prostitution and anonymous sex.” – Stanley H. Ducharme, PhD, a clinical psychologist

Why My Wife Became A Sex Addict

Eve was raped over and over again by her brother, cousin, and uncle. At age 10, she had her first sexual encounter, and for a while, she thought that doing it with the men inside her home was normal. Their family was incestuous and how can I hold it against her? When I met Eve, the three men who abused her were already behind bars, and I never imagined that she would become a sex addict. Our encounters were mind-blowing, yes, but I thought it was because she was in love with me.

 

It’s a blessing that Eve realized for a brief moment a while back that having sex with different men and getting around was her mental illness. Her behavior was not normal, she realized. She was hurting me, our children, our marriage, and most especially herself. While she blamed her damaged mind for everything that she did, I told my wife that her realization was the first step in wanting to get better. We sought a CSAT or a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and the professional created a program for my beloved wife.

 

Source: pinterest.com

 

Counseling Vs. Treatment

“Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses.” Michael Herkov, Ph.D said. SoI thought that what she needed was sex addiction counseling. Well, I was partially correct. The therapist created a sex addict recovery platform for my wife, and it involved counseling and therapy sessions. It is a treatment program because the behavior needs curbing first before the thought process is adjusted. In counseling, the thought process is fixed first so that the response will improve. In this type of issue, the former is more efficient.

 

Components Of A Sex Addict Treatment And Therapy Program

There are at least three components that CSAT’s practice on their clients when in a treatment program. They are held in a rehabilitation facility, private clinic, or a counselor’s office for one-on-one therapy. The program primarily remains the same.

 

  1. Acceptance
  2. Action
  3. Accountability

 

One must ACCEPT that the addiction is out of the addict’s hands. No amount of willpower will make the habit go away on its own and naturally. The disorder is bound to harm not only the people around the addict but also the person herself. That’s what the counselor told my wife and me, and this is what we need to accept.

“It is no more about sex than an eating disorder is about food or pathological gambling is about money.” –Rory Reid, PhD, LCSW

As for ACTION, my wife had to abstain from addictive sexual conduct and practice sexual sobriety. How can she do this when willpower for a sex addict is almost impossible to control? Well, there are tools that CSAT’s will use and impose on their clients to efficiently regulate the behavior. My wife needs to follow the direction of the program to the tee if she wants to get better.

 

ACCOUNTABILITY means doing everything in your power to abstain from sex (if it is required). It is also learning more about the disorder, constant communication with the therapist or counselor, going to sex addict meetings (12-step program), and a sequence of related tasks to make the addict understand why he or she is like that.

 

Source: pinterest.com

 

The Road To Recovery

The CSAT told us that it wouldn’t be a short process. But on a lighter note, some sex addicts recover after a few years in the treatment program. It is different from one person to another, and at the very least, sex addicts will make progress after three years. For some, it is longer. I don’t care. If I need to wait ten years, then, I will wait. My point is for my Eve to get better, and with that, I will be patient.

LGBTQ Counseling: I’m A Gay Man With A Wife

 

Source: pinterest.com

 

Yes, I’m a coward and a fool. I cheated on my wife of ten years many times that I lost count. We have one child together whom I love so much, but that’s just about it. I love our child, but I’m not in love with my wife. Ever since the very beginning, I have never fallen in love with her. We got married because it was a business arrangement sealed by our parents. Soon after our wedding, she had to get pregnant and there, we had our son. After that, our marriage went downhill.

 

 

In A Dilemma

“Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like” That is according to Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC. I know my sob story won’t convince you that I am a good person. Cheaters are not decent people, right? If I didn’t really love her, I shouldn’t have married her, right? Well, in our family and traditions, love is not a priority.  It’s about business and connections. My parents had an arranged marriage and lucky for them, they fell in love. But for us, no. I’ve been with this woman for ten years now and still, no sparks.

 

Do I care for her? Yes, I do. I care for her like a brother to a sister and a friend to a friend. She is the mother of my only child, for heaven’s sake. But I have become an infidel. I’m stuck in this marriage, and I am supposed to be committed to a woman with no romantic feelings from my end. I don’t even get turned on when I see her. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because I’m flawed, weak and a fool. “Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of marital infidelity, something is wrong in the marriage. Either the husband or the wife is unhappy and likely both.” Katrina Bilhimer, Ma, LMHC was right when she said that.

 

Our friends, whose marriages were also arranged, keep on telling me that I should give it a go and try the “love” thing with her – who knows, we might fall in love. We never hit it off like that. I never gave her a chance, I guess. The last time we were intimate was a month after our wedding night, and I believe that was when I got her pregnant. That encounter was a nightmare for me.

 

Source: pinterest.com

 

 

I Had To Tell Her

One night, I went to her room – yes we have separate bedrooms – and I asked her if we could talk. She is a kind-hearted woman and a very loving mother. My guilt was eating up on me, and frankly, I needed a release. I had to tell her. She has the right to know. I don’t want her to waste time on me and stay with me for more years when I can offer her nothing. I finally told her that I am gay, and her reaction stunned me.

 

“I know.” She said that and smiled. “I know who you are from the start.”

 

“Why did you agree?” I said.

 

“It’s a daughter’s duty. And you are a good person. I know that.” She answered.

 

“How can I be good when I have committed a grave sin to you?” I asked.

 

“You mean, your men? I know about that too.” She said.

 

“Then, why are you still here with me?” I was shocked by her answers.

 

“When we grow old, Ming, I know that you will be a great companion. I still believe in my heart that even if you don’t see me as your lover now, in the end, we are destined partners in business and life. We have a son together. He needs us both.” She wiped a tear rolling down her cheek.

 

She also added, “It hurts, Ming, every time you lie. Every time you meet up with your lovers, it’s painful for me. But I have grown to love you, and I know deep inside that you care for me too. If you are willing, I want us to work it out.”

 

This woman is unbelievable. I have never met a person who is as selfless as her. She has to be an angel to be able to accept me for who I am and adjust even if I have wronged her. And yes, I may not be in love/lust with her, but as I said, I care for her. Maybe, there is something here, after all.

 

Source: pinterest.com

 

I Decided To Go Into LGBTQ Counseling

Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP said, “Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes a lot of work. It takes commitment and a willingness to forgive and move forward.” These urges with other men will pass. I’m sure of it. But what we have, what I have with my wife can be a forever thing. I have to work on myself and control my sexual needs. My wrongdoings have hurt her, as she said, and I need to stop causing her pain. With this, I decided to go into LGBTQ Counseling. Hopefully, there is a bright future for me and us. I have to give us a chance at life and love.

How To Deal With Behavioral Disorders Within The Family

It was truly difficult for all of us when we learned the truth – me, my husband, our firstborn and second born, and maybe, even more for our youngest child. You see, we always knew that he was special. He is the baby of the family and we never really noticed “signs” in him that he was different. We just accepted the fact that he was “late” in everything; late in learning how to walk and to talk.

Source: pexels.com

Continue reading How To Deal With Behavioral Disorders Within The Family

Group Counseling Can Help Rearrange Your Erratic Life

I always imagined that I would have an exciting and significant future. I’m young, beautiful, starting my college degree and hoping to finish it in a few years because I had dreams. My dreams were to become a certified public accountant by 22, have my car by 23, and own my dream home at 25 years old. I had plans, and it was very promising until the ultimate disaster that led to my “demise” struck our family when we least expected it.

Source: pixabay.com

Continue reading Group Counseling Can Help Rearrange Your Erratic Life

Yoga Is Beneficial To Our Mental Health

 

Source: images.pexels.com

 

Yoga has helped people with the art of interconnecting the body, mind, and spirit to promote wellness. It began during the ancient times, over thousands of years ago, in India. It is the exercise of encouraging oneness with nature or the environment.

Nowadays, it is a well-known physical fitness workout used by people who observe a healthy lifestyle. Today, it is more than just an exercise. It complements treatment for mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression, schizophrenia, and many others. Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC used to say, “Physical wellness is affected by physical activity, healthy nutrition, and adequate sleep.”

Even professional health care providers agree and use it as part of their patients’ treatment plan. They believe that the wellness of an individual is composed of the body and mind. Doctors prescribe yoga as an additional therapy to boost the effects of medications for severe mental health problems and prescribe it alone for minor conditions.

Many people also take advantage of the relaxation benefit of yoga. The chanting of “om” and meditation creates a physical, mental, and spiritual calmness. It gives the sense of connection to our body and mind. It helps us know and develop our physical abilities and allows us to ponder and reflect mentally and spiritually. “Many practitioners and teachers of yoga claim it offers benefits for one’s mental health. It seems like an obvious conclusion, given that most yoga focuses on exploring one’s inner world of consciousness.” John M. Grohol, Psy.D. said.

 

Studies Show That Yoga Is Complementary To Medical Treatments For Several Mental Health Conditions Including:

 

Source: images.pexels.com

 

Depression

Yoga can aid in the treatment of depression by promoting relaxation and reducing stress level. There are also studies that link depression to serotonin level in the brain. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in the brain which affects mood and social behavior as well as appetite, digestion, sleep, and sexual functions. These activities contribute to a healthy routine. It is responsible for our happiness, and the deficiency of serotonin contributes to depression.

When a person sleeps well, he will be able to maintain a good mood the next day. Studies show that sleep deprivation can cause irritability which then leads to a negative outlook. Mood swings are also present in reduced appetite, digestion, and sexual functions.

 

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a mental health disorder that usually occurs at the early age of 16 up to 30 years old. It is a long-term condition that develops slowly that’s why people who have this condition can hardly tell and often take a while to seek help. It is a mental health condition that also affects the mood, emotions, and behavior. The patient is usually delusional and loses touch with reality and tends to live in fantasy.

Through yoga, an individual gets a better understanding of oneself and the reality surrounding him. It develops a self-awareness that it makes a person familiar and in control of oneself. Eventually, hallucinations and delusions decrease because of the enhanced ability to interact with self and surroundings.

 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental problem caused by traumatic events like the death of a loved one, accident, or a near-death experience. Symptoms can be severe anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, and erratic behavior.

Yoga helps a person perform meditation which promotes peace and calm. It creates a moment of relaxation which helps with the anxiety.

 

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are also mental health issues which can be caused by stress and depression, and they should be treated just like other psychological problems. If left untreated, these can develop into severe medical conditions due to malnutrition.

Yoga can connect the mind and body, and since it builds up abetter relationship between the two, it creates a better understanding of what the body needs. You will have the urge to be healthy and eat according to your nutritional needs.

 

Source: cdn.pixabay.com

 

Benefits Of Yoga To Mental Health

  • Boosts serotonin production and release in the brain, therefore, making us feel happy and optimistic
  • Helps diffuse stress as it promotes relaxation and calmness
  • Relieves anxiety and depression by giving the body and mind the sense of peace
  • Improves concentration through exercising the senses
  • Develops self-esteem as it makes a person feel good about himself after being able to do several positions in yoga
  • Enhances memory because it makes one aware of his senses, surroundings, and experiences throughout the workout and eventually practicing the mind to do this with daily actions

 

“Deep breathing encourages our body’s relaxation response. Other calming and stress-reducing activities include progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, Tai chi and yoga,” says Marla W. Deibler, PsyD. Yoga is an efficient wellness workout not just for the body but the mind and spirit. It allows one to be more familiar and connected with his body which creates a better grasp and understanding of his individuality. It develops self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-love.

Nowadays, yoga is practiced everywhere on the planet. Its benefits are known and used to treat not just mental health problems but other severe medical conditions as well. It helps with asthma, high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, migraines, liver problems, and many more. It does not do any harm, and people who practice it say that their day is incomplete without being able to do a yoga routine, so there’s just one disadvantage of yoga: It is addictive!